1.You are so old that there is a bonfire on your cake. But happy birthday!
2.Happy birthday dude. Enjoy another 365 days of an all-expense paid trip around the sun.
3.Happy Birthday to you! I wish you get everything in life as easy as you got fat.
4.Start counting the cavities in your mouth, rather than the candles on your cake. Happy Birthday!
5.Don’t they say love is all you need? So I didn’t get a present but double the love. Happy birthday.
6.Good luck getting a cake big enough to fit all those candles! Happy birthday buddy.
7.Happy birthday buddy. Don’t you worry about getting so old. That was something that happened years ago.
8.Living as an old man is better than not living at all right? Happy birthday!
9.Happy birthday man, and if someone calls you old, whack him with your walking stick.
10.Happy Birthday, son! Your existence taught me the valuable lesson of protection of one’s assets.
11.Here’s wishing you a hundred wall posts and tweets from people you never talk to! Happy Birthday!
12.May you get everything that you wish for, and your wife knows nothing about it too! Happy Birthday!
13.Birthdays: The one time in the year when you have your name on something you didn’t buy yourself. Happy Birthday!
14.Happy Birthday best friend. Now let’s go to the corner and bitch about people who didn’t wish you today.
15.I hope you enjoy your birthday just like when you were born in this world. Without clothes.
16.Your birthday gives me one more chance to gift you stuff that I need. Happy Birthday dear brother!
17.Happy birthday! You’re not old obviously. But if you were my cereal I’d check the expiration date before consuming it.
18.Happy birthday gal, I am political enough to remember your birth date but to forget your age.
19.Wishing you the happiest of birthdays. May you have the energy and excitement of a 2-year-old but not the amount of their teeth.
20.So, if you could just get the cake, food and the booze, I can get rest of the party home. Happy birthday, bestie!
21.Another birthday comes by with more candles on your cake and less hairs on your head!
22.Wishing the most beautiful and intelligent person I know a great day. That’s me. And to you a very happy birthday.
23.Nobody really cares about clapping and singing the happy birthday song, what everyone really has their eyes on, is the cake.
24.Forget the past, forget the future and please forget the present too as I did forget to get you one. But happy birthday, dear.
25.Happy ‘sitting on your Facebook and typing a thousand thanks to people you don’t know’ day!
26.I’m just glad that we could become as close friends as you inviting me to your birthday party!
27.Happy Birthday! No, I did not forget. And it’s not that late. Technically, it still is your birthday in America.
28.So where do you plan to spend your birthday at? The dentist’s place or at the chiropractor’s? Happy Birthday, dear!
29.Did you know you make the best pasta in the world? Hint: pasta brunch for your birthday party!
30.I wanted to give you a dog for your birthday, but then my mom said you’re way too clumsy to be handling a dog. Until next, happy birthday!
31.I wanted to post the longest fanciest birthday message on Facebook for you today, but I had typers block.
32.I was going to give you something awesome for your birthday, but they wouldn’t let me courier myself to you. Hence, Happy Birthday!
33.It is just a package deal! You get older and wiser. Nope, you can’t have just the latter! It doesn’t work that way. Happy Birthday!
34.Do you know why older people wear a cardigan with everything? Don’t worry you’re one year close to finding out. Happy birthday you old birdie.
35.Happiness is like uprooting of your nail, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the pain. Just like what you’ll feel today. Happy birthday!
36.The worst thing about your birthday is that everybody knows we grew up together and it reveals my age too. But still, happy birthday to my all-time bestie.
37.I might not remember where I placed the car keys at our age, but I surely remember your birthday! Have a great birthday.
38.Let’s face it; this is probably the only day in the year you look fine. Many more to come.
39.Everyone should buy two cakes on their birthdays as one can be smeared over the face with absolutely no regrets.
40.I took my day off from the office today, so you and I can have a nice chat over your retirement plans.
41.Once in many years, people with great passion and brilliance are born into this world who aims at the greater things in life. And today one of them would like to wish you a very happy birthday.
42.Happy 18th! Here’s to all the legal activities you will indulge in now and still be judged!
43.Don’t trouble your lovely mother to host a grand party at home. Just get us drunk, and we all go home happy!
44.I never understood the point of taking a photo when there’s cream stuck in hair; icing slathered all over the face cause that’s when you’re looking the ugliest. Birthday wishes!
45.Take two pieces of cake, one in each hand and you’ll be on a balanced diet.
46.Blowing out those candles and wishing to get rich over night? Keep blowing! Cause that shit doesn’t work.
47.This birthday party won’t even be happening if your parents knew your actual marks. So get me the biggest piece of cake, half your gifts, and some money, please.
48.Wearing a tiara over your head and giving everyone birthday caps won’t be making you any younger.
49.I’ve never heard of Superheroes wanting any gifts, but I have heard that they throw the greatest parties.
50.Time and tide wait for none, but the time can stand still for a woman of your age.
51.If white is not your favorite hair color, you might have some problems with the increasing age.
52.Candles on the cake don’t determine your age. So save the wax, and bake more cake.
53.I know this is early, but since I haven’t gotten an invitation, I thought of letting you know that none of us are planning any surprise party.
54.I wish almighty embraces you with luck to follow up those dreams and also a bucket of water to wake you up from them.
55.I got you a stress ball as your present. With all the tension of growing old you know.
56.If you really want to look young and thin and pretty on your birthday call everyone’s grand moms and grand dads and play chess and poker.
57.Here’s to another year of endless fights, prank games, sneaking out of homes and keeping each other almost sane. Have a good one bud.
58.I got you a killer gift offering a facial which you can avail when your cake comes out.
59.In case you feel lonely, neglected, unloved or simply forgotten, they say you should just take a loan and miss a few payments. Or better, just change your birthday to tomorrow on Facebook!
60.With this another year of passing, I hope you start acting your age and not your shoe size.
61.I’ve been your best friend through thick and thin… and it’s only fair that I get to kick you the most.
62.Today I have gathered the courage to stand in front of you, look into your eyes, hold your hand and tell you… that I am only here for the cake.
63.Blow out the goddamn candles and give us the cake! Global warming is increasing way too fast.
64.Why is it called a birthday? It’s not like you were being born throughout the day. I mean, your mom could have been in labor for a long time, but that doesn’t count as your birthday right. They could have named it Labour day and celebrated it. Oh, but that would have been confusing. Not like most people know what Labour Day is about. Oh, what was I talking about? Happy Birthday!