1."I like you." People say I do not have good taste, but I like you.-Author unknown.
2."I did not go to the funeral, but I sent a letter saying that I approved."Mark Twain.
3."If we are the only intelligent life in the universe, at least there are a finite number of idiots."- Steven Coallier.
4."I may be drunk, miss, but in the morning I'll be sober and you'll still be ugly.""Winston Churchill.
5."I do not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to death your right to say it.""Voltaire.
6."I've never killed a man, but I've read a lot of obituaries with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow.
7.A psychiatrist is a guy who asks you many expensive questions that your wife does for nothing.-Joey Adams.
8."A prisoner is a man who tries to kill you and fails, then he asks you not to kill him."-Willston Churchill.
9."I'd like to take you seriously, but to do it would be to offend your intelligence."George Bernard Shaw.
10."You never stop to think; It's really hard to waste time with your own thoughts.-Unknown author.
11."Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure of the first.-Albert Einstein.
12."I'm so smart that sometimes I do not understand a word of what I say."Oscar Wilde.
13.Do you hate your job? Why did not you say it? There is a support group for that. It's called everyone and they look at the bar. -Drew Carey.