1.“No matter how old you are, it’s never too late to dress up in a costume!”
2.“Keep your sense of humor, even if you have to keep it in a little jar on the shelf.”
3.“If I find any treasure, I’m going to use it to buy bananas for all the monkeys.”
4.Happy birthday! I hope this is the beginning of a wonderful year full of hilarity and hijinks!
5.“I wish Christmas lasted all year long, so I could enjoy the holiday season even more!”
6.My cousin is so lazy, she would rather sit in bed and watch TV all day.
7.Country song playing in the room: Rain makes corn, corn makes whiskey, whiskey makes my baby feel a little frisky.
8.If I ever go missing, please follow my kids. They can find me, no matter where I try to hide.
9.“You’re getting wiser every year – and that’s bad news for the rest of us!”
10.“Thanksgiving is a holiday where you are not asked to do anything for anyone, but you are still invited to the party.”
11.“Sleigh bells ring, are you listening? In your dreams, that is where Santa is glistening!”
12.“I’m so glad I don’t have to dress up like a witch or a skeleton this year!”
13.“What do pirates say when they find a treasure chest?” They say: “me wanted, me wanted!”
14.“It’s cool to have a cousin. I can go to them if I need to borrow something.”
15.“I want to be just like my daddy when I grow up, except for his hairy chest.”
16.“I’m not saying you’re a witch, but you definitely have a wicked sense of humor!”
17.“Cousins are the only people who can make you feel like a million bucks, no matter what.”
18.6-year-old Tripp: If I ever run for president, I’m going to vote for my opponent.
19.“It’s not about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving.”
20.“I’m thankful for my big nose because it helps me smell food from far away.”
21.“Give a man a fish and he’ll eat for a day; Teach him to fish and he’ll eat for the rest of his life.”
22.“Why did the turtle cross the road? Because he was feeling really sluggish that day.”
23.“If you want to catch a monkey, you have to put on a banana suit.”
24.4-year-old Auggie in front of boutique display mannequins: “Meet my new family, mom. They are the quiet people.”
25.2-year-old Ty is pooping on a potty trainer and talking to his poops: “Have fun in the sewer!”
26.A mom and her daughter Grace are folding clothes. Grace sings: “You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them…”
27.4-year-old Avery knocks on an apple: “Helloo? Helloooo? I think this is a calapitter’s house, mom!”
28.“I want to be just like Mommy when I grow up, except for her weird taste in men.”
29.“You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you might find, you get what you need.”
30.“Pirate Pete always said, ‘The only thing worse than being a pirate is being a pirate without an ear. And the only thing worse than that is not having an ear at all.’”
31.Dad: You and me are about to go out and have fun.6-year-old Clark: You and I, Dad.
32.3-year-old Stella is eating sugary treats: “Mom! The sugar bugs in my mouth are laughing so hard right now!”
33.“I’m thankful for my 2 front teeth because without them I wouldn’t be able to eat any candy.”
34.Don’t be so hard on yourself. The mom in E.T. had an alien living in her house for days and didn’t notice.
35.“My mom said she learned how to swim when someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’”
36.May your day be filled with as much fun and laughter as you can handle.
37.“Santa doesn’t want you to be bored on your family’s Christmas Eve so he has left some activities for you.”
38.“There are three things that will ensure a good night’s sleep for children: a binky, a teddy bear, and two soft puppies.”
39.Stella bantering with her new stuffed toy: “You don’t like potatoes? I don’t like potatoes too!”
40.4-year-old Clark: Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. Catch a tiger by his toe. You’re gonna be the one to be hit by a train.
41.3-year-old child: Mommy, I need to wear my goggles so I don’t have to see people.
42.Sick Benji, age 3: “Mommy, my nose isn’t working. I need a new one, please.”
43.Mom: It’s going to be a little chilly today, buddy, so you’re going to have to wear pants.