40 Best Writing Quotes Funny

Visit:887   Updated: 2022/12/19

1.”A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”

2.”Writing is like prostitution. First, you do it for love, and then for a few close friends, and then for money.”

3.”The beautiful part of writing is that you don’t have to get it right the first time… unlike, say, a brain surgeon.”

4.”Writing and travel broaden your ass if not your mind and I like to write standing up.”

5.”The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.”

6.”There’s not much to be said about the period except that most writers don’t reach it soon enough.”

7.”It’s a damn poor mind that can only think of one way to spell a word.”

8.”Writing is so difficult that I often feel that writers, having had their hell on earth, will escape all punishment thereafter.”

9.”The art of writing is the art of applying the seat of the pants to the seat of the chair.”

10.”Real seriousness in regard to writing is one of two absolute necessities. The other, unfortunately, is talent.”

11.”I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.”

12.”It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”

13.”Substitute ‘damn’ every time you’re inclined to write ‘very;’ your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”

14.”About the most originality that any writer can hope to achieve honestly is to steal with good judgment.”

15.”It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous.”

16.”The average Ph.D. thesis is nothing but a transference of bones from one graveyard to another.”

17.”When I was a little boy, they called me a liar, but now that I am a grown-up they call me a writer.”

18.”I get a lot of letters from people. They say: “I want to be a writer. What should I do?” I tell them to stop writing to me and get on with it.”

19.” Learn to write. Never mind the damn statistics. If you like statistics, become a CPA.”

20.”A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn’t allow it to spoil your lunch.”

21.”Never, ever use repetitive redundancies. Don’t use double negatives. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.”

22.”Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good.”

23.”Writing is easy: All you do is sit staring at a blank sheet of paper until drops of blood form on your forehead.”

24.”The funny thing about writing is that when you are doing it well or doing it poorly,It looks the exact same that is actually one of the main ways that writing is different from ballet dancing”

25.” As far as I’m concerned, “whom” is a word that was invented to make everyone sound like a butler.”

26.”The most valuable of all talents is that of never using two words when one will do.”

27.” Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right to use the editorial “we.”

28.”I hate the rhetoric of politicians, but I love it when writers lie to me. If the novelist ran for office. I would vote for their characters. ”

29.” when people share a little light on their monster we find out how similar most of our monsters are”

30.”There are two kinds of people who sit around all day thinking about killing people. Mystery writers and serial killers. I’m the kind that pays best.”

31.”Let me see if I can put it in words that even the inebriated might understand.”

32.”It’s splendid to be a great writer, to put men into the frying pan of your imagination and make them pop like chestnuts.”

33.”Everywhere I go I’m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don’t stifle enough of them. There’s many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.”

34.”Unless a reviewer has the courage to give you unqualified praise, I say ignore the bastard.”

35.”Did you hear about the little boy who ended a sentence with 5 prepositions? He said, “What are you bringing that book that I don’t want to be read to out of up for?”

36.“I was sorry to hear my name mentioned as one of the great authors because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I am not feeling very well myself.”

37.”This is how you do it: sit down at the keyboard and you put one word after another until it’s done. It’s that easy, and that hard.”

38.”Other than the physical act of putting pen to paper, I can’t think of another more important job duty of the writer than to stare wistfully out a window.”

39.”Me in the early freelance years: stranger: Oh, you’re a writer! Have you written anything I may have read? Me: Depends. How well-read are you on the top ten tips for hiring a professional carpet cleaning service in Manchester?”

40.”If you have any young friends who aspire to become writers the second greatest favor you can do them is to present them with copies of The Elements of Style. The first greatest, of course, is to shoot them now.”