1.You’ll never guess what I just remembered…Happy belated birthday (from the world’s most forgetful friend)!
2.I’m so sorry for sending you belated birthday wishes. Honestly, I didn’t think you would live this long. Happy birthday!
3.Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
4.What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it!
5.Fun fact: Having a good birthday is 90% mental and 10% alcohol. Start the pouring, and happy birthday!
6.You are one year wiser, which is lucky, as I forgot the password again… Happy birthday, work buddy.
7.You know you’re old when you turn down the lights to be economical instead of romantic.
8.Happy birthday, Dad! When I grow up, I want to be just like you… but hopefully with more hair! Love, your son.
9.If anyone calls you old this birthday, just hit him with your walking stick and throw your teeth at him.
10.I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until the doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
11.What happens when no one shows up to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.
12.It sucks to have to work on your birthday – but at least you get to spend it with me this year! Happy birthday.
13.How to fart like a man: 1) pass the gas. 2) pass the blame. You got this, bro! Happy birthday!
14.I would have made you a funny card, but I know at your age, bladder control can be a problem… Happy birthday!
15.Wow, another year under your belt. Just let me know how old we’re telling people you are now. Happy birthday!
16.Just imagine all the things you’d want to hear on your birthday… and assume I wrote them here!
17.The secret to staying young is makeup… make up an age, then stick with it!
18.A quick reminder on your special day… well-behaved women rarely make history. So, this year, let’s go even crazier! Happy birthday!
19.Whoops, I didn’t get you a present. Being my office buddy should be the only birthday present that you need – it even lasts all year!
20.Happy birthday! Don’t think of this as a late birthday card. Consider it a very early one for next year. Here’s wishing you a wonderful year ahead!
21.What’s something you get for your birthday every year, aside from cake and presents? Another year older.
22.Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.
23.You’re the reason why I never get tired of work. But you may be the reason I get fired for talking too much! Happy birthday.
24.Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!
25.Happy birthday! For your special day, I made you a cake. BOOM, YOU’RE A CAKE! You’re so very welcome.
26.It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.
27.Some say the glass is half empty, others say the glass is half full. It’s your birthday, just drink whatever’s in the glass!
28.I spent three hours searching the internet for the perfect birthday message for you, and then I gave up. Happy birthday.
29.To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner, so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy birthday!
30.I promise this card isn’t late. It is intentionally arriving after your birth-day because I think you deserve a whole birth month. Happy birth-month!
31.I know you think this card is a few days late. It’s actually worse than that. This is your card from 2010 that I only just got around to sending. Happy belated birthday!
32.Another year together has come and gone. Whatever would I do without you? Not open jars, that’s for sure. Happy birthday, man!
33.Happy birthday, Dude! Congrats on getting a year closer to a senior citizen discount at the movies. Not to mention the best parking spots at the grocery store.
34.Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you drunk on your birthday. Good thing for you, I’m the second kind.
35.Happy birthday! I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one, naked and screaming.
36.For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there! Happy birthday!
37.It’s your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times.
38.Happy birthday to a woman who never ceases to amaze me. Some days your brilliance knows no bounds. Other days you can’t find your keys because you put them in the fridge. You’re unbelievable!
39.A friend like you is like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always getting on my last nerve. But hey, can’t live without ’em. Happy birthday!
40.Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. In this day and age, those are harder to find than toilet paper, so you should definitely feel accomplished!
41.It’s your birthday! You know what that means? One year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids, “get off my lawn!” Everyone loves that guy!
42.You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well pee while I’m here.”
43.They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a whole bunch of salt and bonus points if it accompanies a very large margarita. Make yours a double. Happy birthday!
44.It’s your party, and you’ll cry if you want to; however, I don’t recommend it. You’ll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Happy birthday!
45.Congratulations, you’ve finally reached the wonder years… wonder where your car is parked? Wonder where you left your phone? Wonder where your glasses are? Wonder what day it is?
46.The best part of being over forty is that you did most of your stupid stuff before the internet.
47.On your birthday, you might be thinking, “Oh man, I’m getting old,” but don’t worry. Just because you’re old doesn’t mean you won’t still be doing dumb stuff. You’ll just be doing it slower. Happy birthday!